


They Were Violet

by cosmicconspiracies



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emo Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, POV First Person, Sad, Sad Ending, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicconspiracies/pseuds/cosmicconspiracies
Summary: Baz is coughing up flower petals and it won’t stop. It started when he was eleven. At first they were only small and scarce. Now he’s in his fifth year at Watford and things have... escalated.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	1. Baz

There’s a stabbing sensation in my chest. I’m struggling to breathe. I can feel it crawl up to my throat. It’s painful. It burns. I cough up violet chrysanthemums and they leave me spluttering, petals sprawled all over my desk. Everyone’s looking at me. Snow’s staring at me and his expression darkens. He had a look of concern and shock on his face (it’s more like disgust and smirking from the rest of my class).

”Who broke _your_ heart?” Someone yells from the back of the classroom which makes my peers erupt with laughter.

It started off small. I was eleven and would cough up the occasional petal or two. But it got worse over the years.

I’m humiliated. I’m ashamed.

I run out of the classroom and to my dorm.

When I get back to the safety of my dorm room, I sit on my bed and sob. All this pain and embarrassment just because of a stupid fucking boy.

Suddenly, my idiot of a roommate walks in as I start to feel another fower bloom in my throat. I rushed to the bathroom, retching over the toilet seat.

”Baz, are you okay?” I hear a knock and Simon shouts from the other side of the door.

”Yeah,” I lie. “I’m fine, it’s probably something I ate.”

“We all saw what happened,” He pauses. “I’m so sorry Baz.”

”Why are you sorry?” I spit as another chrysanthemum starts to form.

”Can you at least... tell me who it is?”

_Shit._

Anxiety starts to creep into the pit of my stomach. I shake my head, “not a chance, Snow.”

”At least unlock the door. I’m worried.”

_Yeah right, I’m your fucking nemesis._

However, I oblige and unlock the bathroom door. Was that a stupid thing to do? Probably.

My eyes are met with an appalled Snow. His eyes start to tear up as he sits next to me on the linoleum.

”Crowley, Baz. Why didn’t you say something?”

I hang my head in shame. I hate myself.

”Because it’s none of your bloody business.”

He looks at me with soft, caring eyes. I can feel the heat in my face rise as I look at him. I wonder if Snow knows. If he knows I’m throwing up flowers for him?

Simon rises from the floor and offers his hand. I reluctantly take it and look down in disgust at all of the petals in the toilet. I’m glad this didn’t happen at home, Vera would’ve thrown a fit at the sight of it.

He smiles at me and repeats the question. I’m at a loss for words. I can’t tell him the truth, he’d hate me.

So I lie.

”...Wellbelove.”

His smile fades as he turns away and out of the room, slamming the door furiously behind him.

I’m all alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small first chapter as I’m testing the waters before committing to writing as a proper hobby. I’ve written fanfic before but it never stuck. I still read a shit load of it though lol. Hope you enjoyed! :D


	2. Simon

I leave our room completely aghast. Crowley, I really thought that maybe we could get along! Maybe we wouldn’t have to be rivals. I guess I was wrong.

Baz is in love with my ex-girlfriend. We _just_ broke up. If I didn’t think he could be more of an insufferable wanker...

Or perhaps he’s toying with me?

Even so, a part of me can’t help but pity him. It sounds so incredibly painful and it must be hellish to experience a disease like that every single day. It’s just odd, I suppose. Never in a million years would I think of Agatha as Baz’s type.

I storm into the mostly empty dining hall (thanks Baz, for almost making me miss lunch). There are only a few chicken drumsticks, pies and cakes left over. Typical. I spot Penny sitting by herself, hoping she saved some sour cherry scones for me. Her curly brown hair is tied back into a ponytail and she’s got her nose in a textbook.

”Hey,” I say solemnly.

She looks up and immediately senses something wrong, “Simon, are you alright? You’re late for lunch, that’s quite unlike you.”

I tell her about Baz having feelings for Agatha and take a scone that she saved. I’m not entirely sure of myself but a part of me doubts Baz. It’s one of those feelings that you have no explanation for. It’s just there at the back of my mind. Living with him for a few years has made me aware of things – Patterns. This crush on Agatha seemed to appear out of nowhere. Surely I would’ve noticed...

I snap myself out of it and focus on the food in front of me. I really like food.

Penny shakes her head in disbelief, as if she was reading my mind. “That’s quite random. Their conversations have been few and far between. Does he talk about her a lot, Simon?”

I stifle a laugh, “Why on earth would he talk to _me_ about _my_ ex-girlfriend who he fancies?”

”Good point,” Penny pauses. “Perhaps we should ask Dev and Niall.”

Of course, Dev and Niall were both confused as to why we were even talking to them in the first place. I mean, I am their best mate’s nemesis so I suppose it’s weird. Penny and I sit down on the bench opposite to their’s. The atmosphere is awkward and uncomfortable.

”Do you know who Baz is in love with? We’re getting a bit distressed. He’s only going to get worse. Can you tell us who it is?” I practically beg to them.

Dev crosses his arms and chortles, “Nice try Snow, but it ain’t you.”

A defensive and bitter feeling starts to rise within me. Jealousy.

I shot back. “Shut up, Dev. I’m just concerned about his wellbeing, that’s all.”

Penny swiftly discards the conversation by changing back to the original subject. ”Baz has been skipping classes. He hardly ever leaves his room and he looks so frail! We need to know who the girl is so she will possibly reciprocate.”

She’s right. Baz looks as if he’d been rotting in a coffin for aeons. I’m pretty certain of vampires being immortal but he looks like he’s about to drop dead any second. His hair is greasy and his now scaly skin is an alarming shade of pale grey. Not to mention his weight; he’s practically swimming in his school uniform. Admittedly, I’m worried about Baz. Part of me misses his witty remarks and sly side glances, even if they do make him an annoying prick.

Dev and Niall snicker, glancing at each other. Apparently Penny’s heartfelt comments about Baz’s health were fucking hilarious. Needless to say, we weren’t getting any information out of neither Niall nor Dev. It’s understandable, they’re his closest friends after all. I don’t know what I expected if I’m honest.

I get back to our dorm after lunch and see Baz reading a book. Some boring, pretentious classic, I bet. How fitting. His hair is tied up in a bun which doesn’t look as stupid as I thought it. Last week Baz told me he might start doing up-do’s now that it’s almost down to his shoulders. I told him he would look bloody ridiculous. He doesn’t.

He peers at me and puts the novel down, looking stern.

”Snow, what were you doing at lunch?”

“We were just making conversation. As you do.” I replied, stammering.

He smirks, “Did you really expect them to tell you who it is? Crowley, you’re more stupid than I thought.”

It’s almost as if he’s back to his old self, so I can’t really complain much.

”Baz, I know it’s not Agatha.”

The smug expression on his face disappears faster than ashes in strong wind. Quickly, it’s replaced by fear and pure panic.

”What are you talking about? She’s beautiful, she’s smart and she’s... she’s...” His voice trailed off.

I just want him to stop lying. He’s in pain. He’s hurting.

”Just tell me who this girl is and I can, I don’t know, talk to her!” My voice sounds pathetically desperate. “We’ve never been friends, but I hate seeing you like this. It’s horrific.”

It’s true. Baz is stronger than I thought. Now I realise that he’s been suffering for along time. He just learned how to hide it.

Baz’s stormy eyes become overwhelmed with tears as he starts to cough violently. Petals burst from his mouth, all various shades of purple: lilac, indigo and violet.

”Because it’s not a girl, you fucking idiot!” He chokes on his words, almost as if it’s causing him physical distress to just say them.

Oh.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to feel. So I do the most rational thing I can think of.

I kiss him.

Anything to stop whatever it is that he’s going through.

Baz starts to kiss back but eventually pulls away, his eyes looking straight into mine. They look less fragile now. Less broken.

“What is it?” I ask.

”Nothing, I just... I don’t feel sick anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update for the plot: originally, Baz was going to die. However, we’re in a particularly dark time right now and I know a lot of people (including myself) use fanfic as an escape. Therefore, I wanted a happy ending. Also I’m not creative enough to make a good way of vampires turning back into Normals and dying in the Simon Snow universe lol (that was my first but it didn’t really fit).
> 
> I will be doing a fic like this in the future though! I’ve got it planned out but want to release more short fics before really committing.
> 
> Anyway, hope you’re all doing okay. Thanks for the kudos btw! I really appreciate it <3


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